Six inch heels, fashionista style and blood red lipstick does not a woman make. This feminine, magnetizing and alluring creature whom men find complicated and impossible to resist is in fact a true mystery unto herself as well.
“You are a man inside a really hot female body!” my ex had told me at once insulting me and inspiring me to spend the rest of my life figuring out exactly what he meant.
It is here that my fervent journey to self-discovery began with a trip to the local book store and straight to the self-help section. I have probably read every bestselling book on Sex, Love, Men, Dating & Relationships there is and when I frequent my beloved Love Guru Doctor Pat Allen she always greets me with a familiar look and these kind words…
“Now what is it that I can do for you that God has not already done?!”
“In dating I need to learn how to shut up! Every time I get upset the Carl Jung animus part of my soul erupts to protect the under-developed and fragile anima part of me.”
I was the personification of everything the Blue Stocking Movement fought for… a modern, ambitious woman in hot pursuit of a dream career, equality to men in the work place and my Happy Ever After at home. Simply put a masculine energy woman and my love life was suffering for it.
I was thoroughly exhausted of trying to have it all and ending up with neither. Where along my sex seminar attending, relationship books inhaling and Love Guru chasing paved road to love had I gone so wrong? I had in gallons all of the famed, signature traits for success such as an aggressive go-getter nature, a logical male centered style of looking at sex as often standing alone from love and the popular western culture Lady mantra that I do not actually need a man!
So why was I not blissfully content?
The stark truth is because I had forgotten or never truly learned the lost art of being a woman!
We all take being a woman for granted. We assume that we will just intuitively know how to act our assigned gender. This is the mistake which I had made all of my adult/dating life.
I was dressed as a lady acting and thinking like a man! Sorry Steve Harvey I beg to differ with you Sir!
There is in actual fact a very precise method to the art of being a woman. As a yang energy girl I had lost sight of my femininity on the highway of life and was swerving back and forth between my yin and yang lanes. Sure to cause a wreck!
To have a relationship two people must relate. The vehicle for this interaction is largely what we say, how we say it, when we say it and why. The power of our words has the ability to change the course of our lives for better or worse. Greene in “The Art of Seduction” refers to it as the demonic power of words.
For a couple to connect one must be yin the other yang energy. This is not a gender biased matter. Either sex may operate on either sides of the spectrum therefore creating the tension conducive for chemistry to be ignited.
I wanted to rediscover my femininity so I read “Why Men Love Bitches” by Sherry Argov and “Getting to I Do!” by Pat Allen and for a few days I was in my yin. Then something triggered me to default back into my yang. The bipolar behavior of swinging back and forth had cost me far too many potential relationships already. I was ready for change.
The recurring advise of authors like Dr. Toni Grant in “Being a Woman” and David Buss in “The Evolution of Desire” was to pick either to be masculine or feminine and never the twain shall meet.
“Keep your yang mouth shut!” Doctor Allen scolded me yet again.
But this was the root of my despair I did not know HOW to.
I had no idea that my own Shona culture would be the answer to my unspoken question. It seemed crazy to declare that one was a lifetime motor-mouth and addicted to the sound of ones own voice! Withdrawal symptoms of which could include but would not be necessarily limited to talking to my cat or myself, excessive texting or the big” no-no!” of talking so much on my dates, I barely knew the guy at the end of the dinner!
It was quite by accident that I finally found a cure for my logaria!
In his book “The Brain That Changes Itself” Norman Doidge states that “the brain is a plastic, living organ and that the brain could actually change its own structure and function.” He continued to claim, quote, “that our thoughts could switch our genes on and off, altering our brain anatomy.”
I asked myself what shaped most of our thoughts and realized that it was the words we spoke repeatedly transmitted through our ears to impact our brain. I was speaking yang. My thoughts were thus yang. My actions, turned to habits, equalizing my behavior patterns being all yang! My yang character was in this manner formed, the destiny of which was to repel any yang attention and attract yin men into my life. The kind who expected me unconsciously to play the male/mother role. My yang pursued them, provided for their needs at my own expanse, protected their sensitive egos and eventually was abandoned whilst they exercised their female energy prerogative to say “No!” to me.
I had enough!
I needed to learn how to speak yin or forever be “a boy trapped in a hot body!”
I one day found myself communicating with numerous friends and family who still lived in Zimbabwe whom I had not really communicated with for almost 2 decades. I was immediately struck by the contrast to speaking English and living in America. In traditional Shona culture we had very strict rules which governed the patterns and energy of our speech.
“Baba, May I please have permission to express an opinion?” I asked my Uncle respectfully.
Upon uttering this request I felt the dynamic contrast of my own energy as feminine, submissive and passive in direct contrast to my Uncle’s as masculine, dominant and active.
“Yes you may.” He responded to my immediate delight.
I experienced an unexpected burst of joy of his concession in conjunction with an instant boost to my self-esteem. It was undeniable that my request had generated a yin/yang dynamic which set up for the currency of exchange between us. By assuming the feminine posture, I had automatically induced his masculine one. He felt respected by me and I felt cherished by him. I was unsettled by the feelings of vulnerability however. Yet it was essentially that very sense of weakness that allowed me to recognize and appreciate the invisible umbrella of his authority and protection. We were relating in an organic yin/yang manner.
The abundance of good feelings flowing through me validated the fact that this short conversation had just given me a verbal re-alignment from my default yang settings to my desired yin state.
Over the days and weeks which followed, I began to pay close attention to all my conversations in Shona. Shona is a language which polarizes male and female energy.
In group settings women often remained silent and spoke only with the express permission of the alpha male.
Now before the feminists flood me with hate mail let me make myself clear!
This article is not for those women who have decided to exist in their yang energy, thus repelling Alphas and killing any hopes of been cherished, provided for and protected by a masculine man. No, this article is not for those proud yang sugar mamas and cougars who enjoy being the breadwinner and providing for and protecting a feminine energy beta male.
This article is strictly for those masculine energy women who are ready to experience the liberating power, pleasure and organic state of being a woman again. I am talking to the women who are tired of chasing the wrong guy at the cost of their personal integrity, virtue and self-respect.
This is for those brave women who are ready to trade in their hustle of clocking in religiously into corporate America daily for a happy, healthy loving relationship with a provider ready to offer them the world. The women who are ready to answer the tick-tock and start a family. The women who are ready to surrender the role of being a man to regain the secret power of being a mystical, vulnerable, alluring and highly sought after creature again.
I am a much honored guest blogger here today so I will not overstay my welcome! LOL
I will however leave you with this…
What would you say if I told you that you can only put up a gorgeous chandelier once a strong foundation and a sound structure has been constructed? You can only kick off your red bottoms, toss your long mane and bait your pretty lashes once you are certain that you are in fact authentically being a woman.
What would you say if I told you that much as in million copies plus bestseller by Robert Greene “The Art of Seduction” I could assure you that you would be able to toss away all your other self-help books and never feel the pain of defeat at another failed relationship again? The fact is most women in my Shona culture find love, romance and marriage without ever signing up with a dating coach!
It just happens for them like breathing because they are always yin and yin automatically attracts yang and voila! The dating puzzle falls into picture perfect place without lifting a finger.
Shona women living in Zimbabwe and true to their traditions would be horrified at the successful, strong, beautiful American women desperately looking for love on fickle dating sites, the drunken bar scene and throughout the Milky Way!
The secret to the success of the Shona women with men would perhaps until now have been unexamined and thus unknown to them and the world!
This would be a great tragedy!
The very rare single women known to this Shona tribe would appear to them to be very masculine in energy, brash and self-sufficient and occasionally bemoan having to struggle financially with no aid, regret not having children to be a comfort in old age and a present source of joy nor a mate to be cherished by.
This disgruntled yang woman is the rule of thumb and not the exception in modern day America. She speaks yang and has sacrificed all for a career that cannot keep her warm at night and feels oddly cheated by life and deeply discontent.
This Amazon book
She Speaks Yang! “The Shona Art of Being a Woman” is my gift to you.
You will learn the magic of using the secret power of yin speak and practical tools to learn how to thoughtlessly magnetize love to you. You will be intoxicated by the sweet sound of his “Yes!” You will finally get all your hearts desires! And last but not least you will finally enjoy the thrill of getting men to hunt you down with honorable proposals and offers of forever.
When you learn to speak yin you will never have to say a single thing again if you so choose and will learn to use sparingly few words. You will never have casual sex, settle or exhibit customary desperate running-out-of-time behavior again. In fact you will have the difficult time of picking only one mate from many eligible ones!
The art of being a woman is as simple as following the esoteric secrets of the women of the ancient Shona tribe of Zimbabwe which I will gladly share with you!
You will learn the rules of yin/yang driven communication patterns, the power of words to be recorded by your brain and to create brand new and improved yin patterns of thinking which will in turn govern your actions transforming your masculine energy into feminine.
The byproduct of which will be to shape and reinforce only womanly habits, which will lead to the evolution of your sparklingly authentic feminine character!
The spoils of being a woman are that all that you silently ask and consider you shall always receive!
This is not just one more rule book for you to struggle to stick to!
What sets She Speaks Yang! “The Shona Art of Being a Woman”
Apart from all the books which I have ever read is that it shows you exactly how to rewire your dynamic and changing brain by taming your most capricious body part…your mouth!
It is impossible to speak yang daily and not reinforce your yang nature as dominant and preferred to your brain. Your amazing brain then changes itself to cater to the dude in you !You brain cannot decipher your gender only your energy and the subconscious wishes that govern that option is its command!
The majority of us predominantly speak yin or yang many times a day. By virtue of the law of repetition you are guaranteed to train your mind to follow suit in a relatively short time whether you mean to or not.
The rest is a domino effect.
There are basic unchanging laws of nature which govern this planet and they will remain100% failure proof.
The law of gravity guarantees that if you jump from a high-rise with the faith in your ability to fly you will certainly plummet to your death.
The law of inertia states that for any object moving in one direction there is an equal and opposing energy which will move against it.
The law of attraction is hundreds of thousands of years in the making and our hard core DNA wiring is its mechanism of expression. This law dictates that the currency of exchange of all living things in nature is to be yin or yang.
There must exist a yin and yang energy interaction for a pull to be created. So to find true love learn to speak yin!
Your soulmate is not “somewhere out there!” The proximity of your soulmate is governed by your very own unbridled yang or yin mouth and your commitment to reigning it in!
Your mouth has the extra-ordinary ability to either repel men with its yang speak or to magnetize the love you have been waiting for if you would only learn to SPEAK YIN!
Chiedza Mavangira is a Zimbabwe native, that fought years to make it to America. She, like many others, saw a better life in the land of the free. I met this confident, cooky, out-of-the-box, HIGHLY INTELLIGENT woman while I was in Los Angeles. She is always a breath of fresh air, and enjoys making others smile (it sounds cheesy, but it is so true). She just recently lost her brother, Athelng Peacebe Reginald Mavangira, who still resided in Zimbabwe. May prayers pour out for her family and her in this horrible time. Check out her radio show, TALK BACK, on her blog: Chiedza Mavangira